His
by Arlesanna
Summary: You don't want to know what i think." - was there more to it then just a friendly nudge? Sure thing Reynolds POV, spoilers for 1x12-2x4.


Author's note: I decided to play around with the POV''s a bit, letting us in on Reynolds thoughts. Hope you welcome this spontaneous improvisation)

* * *

**His.**

"You don't want to know what I think," I smirked and watched her go into that lousy saloon, the air of desperation around her. Those words still burned my tongue having rolled of it like hot pebbles.

A bitter laugh escaped my throat as those words ran through my mind over and over again.

She wouldn't want to know that the first time I saw her I was smitten. She possessed the unique combination of grace and simplicity, confidence and femininity, strength and vulnerability. It was obvious she was smart, educated, quick-minded, but at the same time she was understanding and empathetic, driven by her instincts and not the cold logic that she without a doubt possessed. I could see all that just by looking at her as she helped with all the preparations with our "bait deal" in Jenkins case.

I knew she wouldn't wanna know what I thought as I watched her calmness and resilience dissolve into nothingness as He screwed up. Her voice was shaking with emotion:

"I've never seen anyone read Lightman who hadn't had deception training. I... I don't know what happened."

_**That's when I wondered. **_

I knew she wouldn't want to know what i thought when I saw her on the ground, broken and sobbing. I went after the bastard and thank lord I didn't catch him because at that very moment I was very short of doing an irreversibly stupid thing. Yes, I would have killed him on the spot. I saw Lightman cradling her in his arms, her clinging to him like a little child.

_**That's when I was almost sure.**_

I knew she wouldn't want to know that I hated her husband. I wasn't in on all the stuff that was going on in her life and I couldn't read her like Him, couldn't tell if she was masking sadness with a smile or if she was happy at all in her marriage. I just thought her husband was a moron. And I was happy when she dumped his sorry ass. I wish I could tell her what I thought, but I knew she didn't wanna know. Cause He gave her a divorce present and the next day she was wearing pink. Yes, i noticed.

_**That's when I noticed the way he looked at her. **_

(I must be getting better at the emotions stuff. Or maybe it's just a guys thing.)

She wouldn't care to know I wanted to beat the crap out of that Rader guy. I wondered why she would always stand so close to him, clearly leading Jack on, exchanging meaningful phrases with him, tolerating his checking her out all the time. He was so obvious and yet she played his game. I only found out why she did, the moment I saw Him snatching the card from her hands while she pretended to admire the flowers, her eyes full of joy that was risking to spill over.

_**That's when I saw.**_

She wouldn't want to know how scared I was when she told me there was a hostage situation. They can never prepare you for those. I had been in one before and it didn't go well, I knew how bad it could turn out but she begged me not to call the cops and I didn't. I still don't know why.

She wouldn't want to know I thought she was spinning out of control. His name on my lips helped her get back in focus, and I thought that was wrong. She should be stronger that that. She was stronger than that, but she was falling apart.

_**That's when I asked myself why, even though I felt I knew the answer.**_

She wouldn't want to know that I thought she was hot and desperate. The dream of each men, those hot and desperate women. What did she think of, showing off her boobs like that? I really didn't want to know.

The whole day I've been watching her tremble with fear, being on the verge of tears, holding herself together. And I was thinking "damn Him!", but she wouldn't want to know. She just wanted to know He would be ok.

I wanted her to be better, so I did it. I shot the bastard and managed not to hurt Lightman in the process, which wasn't as easy as it would seem. I thought I had just done the nearly impossible, but she didn't care - she was looking at him.

As he brushed past her, drunk with adrenaline, breathing freedom in and leaving her behind, I thought he was an asshole, but I also knew he was in a very dark place and it was better for him to have some alone time. I was afraid to face her, I hated to see her sad and i imagined that is how she would be. But there was nothing but understanding in her eyes, the comforting and familiar calmness of her demeanour was back, though still rippled with the aftershock. I knew he would come knocking at her door later that night, but so did she. And she would be waiting.

_**That's when I knew.**_

She doesn't want to know what I think. What anyone else thinks but Him.

_**Cause she is His.**_


End file.
